Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Spike Rapner/Sa-Sobek Manangya's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, March 24th, 2009
12:33 pm	I am an atheist. Technically, I'm not really an atheist, but since I'm very taciturn on my religious views, atheist is probably the closest description. However, as of late I've become more and more wary of using the word to describe myself for one reason: 95% of self-described atheists are absolute morons. I've just become ashamed of using it to describe myself. I do not like atheists who say that the belief in God is stupid because religious people only use God as a crutch to keep from handling responsibility of their own lives. If God were to exist, then he would give meaning to all things, which would matter a hell of a lot more than the superficial meaning any of us give to things, which is entirely subjective upon the individual. Therefore, the problem here is that atheists don't believe in God because they already assume that God doesn't exist. Does anyone else see a problem with that? Furthermore, I do not like the term "free-thought" that many atheists use. How free-thinking is it when a philosophical debate with an atheist usually goes like this: "There is no God" "Well, what would you expect to see if there were a God?" "I don't care, there is no God" "But at least consider the poss-" "No! There is no God!" "But..." "I'm not listening! There is NO GOD!!!" I also think it's funny (actually sad, really) to see atheists who say "if everybody stopped being religious all wars would stop and we would finally have peace in the world" (yes, this is indeed verbatim). I mean, just look at the wars of the 20th century. WWI and WWII were due to imperialism, and the Cold War, the Vietnam War, and the Korean War were against communism. Communism, might I add, is a very secular, nonreligious regime. If we all were nonreligious, it would produce the same effect as if we were all Christian, or all Islamic, or in general, if all of us carried the same set of doctrines. If we were all nonreligious, we would just find something else to fight about because religion or not, we all have different doctrines and we're all stubbornly dogmatic about something. Finally, the amount of suffering in the world does not disprove the existence of God. Not only would I think that God transcends our simplistic views of good and evil, but also, maybe not everything is God's fault. If some lunatic goes and slaughters an innocent bystander, that's not God's fault. It's the lunatic's fault. God would be about as responsible as you would be if your own body started producing cancer cells. If you don't believe in God because of religious nutso-wackos, that's not a valid reason. Believing in God because other people tell you to is just as bad as not believing in God because other people tell you to. Think for yourself and come up with your own conclusions. Commenting has been disabled because whenever I've written philosophical things (this is really philosophy-lite for me) somebody's bound to just misinterpret everything I say and I just hate taking the effort to correct every little thing that they've gotten wrong. If you have any criticisms, I'm sure they're valid--just think about it then. And if you think I'm just a wimp for not allowing debate, well, there's nothing I can do about that.
Wednesday, July 25th, 2007
8:56 pm	And now presenting: installment #1 of...well, 1 of Stuff That Looks Cooler Up Close. If you can guess this picture, you get...nothing really. Bragging rights maybe? Nah. (And no Del, you can't play. I already told you what it was) (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 23rd, 2007
12:08 am	I just got Harry Potter 7. There was no line. And hardly a single book was taken off the display stand. I guess that's what you get for shopping at Wal-Mart at 10 in the evening. Really, I don't care. Let's head back to the days when reading books was getting to be considered as archaic as phonographs, shall we? ^^ Current Music: Brand New - Degausser (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 27th, 2007
6:15 pm	I will never understand those who say they live in the moment, for in a sense, the description is oxymoronic. Life is not a series of disjunct moments but a single process, a path. Those how live in the moment string up destinations along this path and only concern themselves with where they are currently and with getting from one destination to the next. But life is not about reaching any destination; it is about continuing on the path itself. True happiness does not merely arise from what amuses oneself from one instant to the next but develops from the process of continuing on that path; it does not come from being something at any given moment but from becoming something at every given moment. You may choose to live in the moment, but I choose to live. ----- It is my opinion that more crimes against humanity have been committed by those who consider themselves higher than the ethical. But this is not necessarily an evil--it can be a virtue and in many cases it is. Ironically, Nietzsche thought that transcending the ethical was the eventual outcome of man's abandonment of religion while Kierkegaard thought that it comes from man's embrace of religion. My conclusion from these conflicting views is that it has nothing to do with religion at all. People can commit crimes due to either the anarchistic nihilism that can spring from atheism or due to those who claim they do that which is unethical in the name of their god. Religion is not the problem more than it is the vehicle of darker aspects of human psychology. Drawing lines between people, claiming to hold the only truth--these are not facets of the religious. These are universals. (Comment on this)
Monday, March 26th, 2007
4:56 pm	Profound words on a new keyboard Here are some good words by Søren Kierkegaard: "My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: Do it or do not do it--you will regret both. But the person who mocks others mocks himself, and it is not meaningless but rather a profound mockery of yourself, a tragic proof of how flabby your soul is, that your view of life is concentrated in one single sentence: 'I say simply Either/Or.'" In other news, I got a new laptop today, $700 after my old one totally crashed. For those of you who noticed that I wasn't on for a while, well now you know why. Current Mood: thoughtful Current Music: Traffic - Glad (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 4th, 2006
7:20 pm	It was free and still a waste... As most of you who know me well know, I've recently gotten into the art of kickboxing. Those of you who know me well also know why I've gotten into kickboxing, but that's another story ^^. Now, I've only had one kickboxing class in my life and unfortunately, it was embarassing. I forgot to eat breakfast that morning and so only 40 minutes into the lesson my energy totally crashed. But from what I got from the class, it seemed pretty good. Now, the campus gym here offers kickboxing classes and the good thing is that all the classes are free this week. Now I don't know if it was due to the influx of students due to free classes or if all the classes are like this, but my experience can be summed up in 2 words: IT. SUCKED. First off, the class spent an hour doing nothing more than basic calisthenics. An hour! I mean sure, it's more than a good idea but a basic tenet to warm up, but we spent 2/3 of the class doing nothing but running around the room and doing stretching exercises. Secondly, while I can tell that the teacher is competent, the students have major ego issues. The class is divided into 2 groups: the more experienced students and all the other students. While most of the experienced students are actually quite helpful, a couple are total assholes who it's clear know absolutely nothing about what they're talking about. Case in point: the guy who likened my knee technique to skipping. Whereas this guy can't even hit my own hand placed at waist level. Or the guy who said to me "You need to put your hips into it more. All you're doing is flailing your limbs." (yes, he did actually say this last point to me). Excuse me, but the first thing I was taught in the other class I took (okay, second, the first was "keep your hands up") was that power for punches and kicks comes from the hips. I was using my hips if you would have stopped to actually look instead of just taking a glance at me while walking by. Besides, I watched you and you suck too. Third, I guess I can't blame them, afterall, they don't train competitive fighters like the other place I went to, but they have a bunch of techniques in kickboxing all wrong. The whole half hour (see my first point) that we practiced moves, all we did was practice punches and kicks on stationary targets. Which I guess is good in itself, but if you ask me (and this copies the way I learned in the other place), it's more basic to learn how to move around. Otherwise, you're just teaching us how to fight punching bags, not actual opponents. But will I pay my monthly dues and go back? Begrudgingly, yes. Because I still like kickboxing and I want to hone my techniques. This is the only kickboxing class that I know is offered here. It might get better when there are less students. Besides, who knows, I might get the opportunity to kick those aforementioned students in the head and actually have a legit reason to do it. Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: Rush - The Analog Kid (Comment on this)
Monday, September 4th, 2006
7:00 pm	Fun with IMs http://www.mindhacks.com/blog/2005/09/the_robots_are_comin.html Yes, it's a blog article from a year ago. But it's damn funny. Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 30th, 2006
5:29 pm	Don't fuck with my mind, man! There are a category of movies (well, not just movies, but there are other forms of media too) that I've heard called "mindfuck" movies. You know the type--complicated, nonlinear storylines that usually involve philosophy of some sort. Thus far, these movies have really rubbed me the wrong way, mainly because people end up thinking that they're deeper than they really are. The Matrix, for example, was pretty good but got spoiled by stoners referencing the movie in an attempt to sound deep ("Dude, like, how do we know if this world is real and stuff?" "That's, like, real deep, man..."). I Heart Huckabees, too, was all right, but it tried to sound a lot deeper than it actually was. Though I suspect that other people felt the same way. I still kinda liked it though. But Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? Total, utter, COMPLETE crap, filled with so many plot holes, deus ex machina, and bad storytelling that if people weren't so engrossed with the whole "Dude! The story is backwards!" then they would see how absolutely weak the story actually is. Things considered, and this is one of my favorite--albeit hardly original--expresions, most people are about as deep as puddles. Any movie or whatever that shows even the slightest inkling of philosophy use, even if the philosophy is totally unsound, people jump on it and think it's deep and everything without stopping to think that there's the possibility that it doesn't make sense. It's one of my pet peeves, for example, that so many works of media supposedly have "existentialist themes" when apparently, 9 times out of 10 not only does it not really have existentialist themes but the person using the phrase clearly doesn't even know what the word "existentialist" really means. I've really lost a lot of faith in movies that try to incorporate philosophical themes for these reasons. I really do want to see a movie that's deep, but still uses philosophy correctly. I dunno, there are several other "mindfuck"-type movies like Donnie Darko and Memento that other people have said are good, but I hope that these people aren't the "shallow as puddle"-types that I just mentioned. Anybody have any other recommendations here? Current Mood: disgruntled Current Music: Can - Paper House/Mushroom (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 19th, 2006
3:35 pm	You got music in my CGI! You got CGI in my music! Two great art forms that...ah, you know. http://www.animusic.com/ http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=animusic Pretty cool, even though I'll be honest: some of them look like cheesy metal band special effects. (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 17th, 2006
12:17 pm	Needing advice Does anybody know anything about replacing a broken CD ROM drive on a laptop? (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 14th, 2006
3:54 pm	Brainteaser Here's one I thought of myself. Analyze the following groups and fill in the blank. FILE REED LEER TAEL EOR ALE LK I SHIER PU SKNG E O FL A SUOR NILE ____ Hint: the space between groups is important. Current Mood: nerdy Current Music: Rolling Stones - Rocks Off (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 13th, 2006
6:00 pm	Spike gets political Okay, no. Not really. This is only borderline political at best. But it does have to do with one of the hotbed topics of the moment. It really comes to my attention that in some sense, my grandmother might be an illegal immigrant. Y'see, in order to get into the country, she had to buy a birth certificate with a phony name on it. No rare occurrence in those days for Chinese immigrants, mind you. But nevertheless, like it really matters. She's lived in the same meek little house for several decades (In the slums, mind you! A guy on the street once tried to sell me bathtub liquor when I was 8) and the government is none the wiser, nor would they probably care. If I insist on making any point at all (and I really don't insist), it'd be that legal, illegal, who the hell cares and what kind of damn difference does it really make? Really, I have no point to make. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 9th, 2006
2:28 am	Animal racism As most who know me know, one of the traits that define me is the fact that when I throw myself into something, I really throw myself into something. In other words, when I get interested in something, it becomes my new obsession. But that's not really what this post is about; this is just background. Anyway, I was watching a dog competition on Animal Planet (there was nothing else on) and that got me thinking back to when I was a kid who wanted a dog (yes, there are a lot of kids like me). My dad is really the only one in the family who has had experience with taking care of dogs. He happens to like pugs and has explicitly stated wanting one for the longest time. My sister is deathly adverse/terrified of almost all animals. The only dog she'd ever let live with her is a beagle. So what's a family to do? Why, get a puggle (pug/beagle mix), of course! DISCLAIMER: no, we're not getting a dog. I'm going to be in Davis in a few months and all the other members of my family have jobs. We don't have time for a pet. The thing is, mixed breeds like the puggle are immensely panned by dog breeders; one went out of her way to make the statement, "If you like pugs, get a pug. If you like beagles, get a beagle." That has to be one of the most stupid things I have ever heard. If you like both pugs and beagles, get one of each then? I'm sorry, but whatever problems you have with mixed breeds, it's gotta be less than the problems a family like mine would have with 2 demanding pets. After reading more and more, it all sounded like some kind of racism, keeping blood pure in some kind of pharaoh lineage. Sure, breeders make sure that potential problems are weeded out. Lest we forget that some purebreeds have problems all their own. The bulldog must deliver pups through cesarian because of the large head size and the doberman is infamous for its myriad of heart problems. Really, what I want to know is this: what exactly is a purebreed? As everyone should know, all domestic dogs are descended from the same species so in a sense, we don't have separate breeds but a vast continuum. Even if there were some breed that we can say is unique unto itself, it's still descended from the same species, the same species as all other breeds. I think the bottom line is this: who the hell cares whether a dog is one breed or another or is a mixed breed? As long as a dog is of sound health, temperament, and looks nice, I'm happy. Who cares about calling it a purebreed or a mixed breed, this breed or that breed? It's a dog. Period. Current Music: Phish - Run Like an Antelope (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 1st, 2006
12:34 am	It's past midnight and I'm trying to get my sleep schedule back on track after going to sleep past 2:00 for the past couple of nights and waking up past noon (I'm a morning person, so that kind of pattern makes me really disoriented). But I'm still suffering from the aftertaste of a bad pinot noir that tasted like water from overcooked artichokes (for those who don't know already, I am indeed an oenophile; look up that word if you don't know what it means). But it comes to my attention that a lot of furs and a good chunk of the fandom is just too damn shallow for my liking. Either it's "I'm a fur. I look like an animal...and that's about it" or "I'm a fur. I look like an animal and I behave in a manner stereotypical to that animal" and I can't really decide which I dislike more. I dunno, is there not a subset of furs who want to "go deeper" into the identity of their furry selves, try to connect to their animal selves more? I mean, that's why I'm a naturist (note, I didn't say naturalist, although I am indeed a naturalist also) outdoors type. And I know what you might say to yourself: being a naturist outdoors type doesn't necessarily make me much more animalistic than it does make me a naturist outdoors human, but I do plan to continue delving even deeper as time goes on. Still though, are there no furs who see past the superficial "I look like an animal" part? Yes, there are the otherkins. But I've found that otherkins have superficialities and pretensions all their own, from the I-hate-humans to the pseudodeep to the pagans. No, don't get in a tiff about the last one; I have nothing against actual pagans whatsoever. I just have a thing against how a good chunk of those who call themselves pagans are just people using the term as a catchall for anybody who wants to be alternative. I've long since started calling myself on the fringe of both groups. I call myself a fringe fur because I simply happen to like anthro art and I call myself a fringe otherkin because I simply happen to have a close connection with reptiles. I couldn't stay within any group because of the flaws in each group that I simply couldn't ignore any longer. I've long since stopped trying to ask anything from either groups, but I simply can't find my place anywhere (yeah, I know, join the club--shutup). Still though, are there really no furs out there who try to live the animal life? And by animal life, I don't mean the stupid superficial things like eating meat raw or walking digitigrade (I indeed know people who use these traits as proof of their animal-ness). I mean actual animalistic traits, whatever they may be. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Camel - Supertwister (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 1st, 2006
11:20 pm	Another idea that'll never come to fruition I have a lot of those. I think that in some sense I am drawn to woodcarving/whittling. I guess it stems from my fascination of kachinas. I've even defined what kind of art style I would have if I ever did take it up. I've pictured myself having a sort of abstract, angular style similar to the art of Josep Subirachs (see also: the Passion Facade of La Sagrada Familia). Funny thing is, that while I have superb spatial ability (for example, I have an excellent way with maps and I can navigate unfamiliar cities), my visual art skills are total crap. Anyway, is there anybody reading this who is into/knows someone who is into woodcarving and knows how I can get started? BTW, this is my new fav song. Seriously awesome. Current Music: Can - Oh Yeah (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 11th, 2006
3:35 pm	And how was your day? I became a taxidermist for a day when I had to stuff a dead rat in bio lab. It had huge testicles, seriously. Unfortunately, now my hands have the scent of musky wet fur that won't seem to wash off. Blargh, I got a midterm in an hour. And in my worst class, too. Current Music: Stone Roses - Fool's Gold (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 24th, 2006
12:08 am	Things better left unsaid I'll say this: I'm more or less fine with my parents not knowing that much about me. I don't expect them to know my deepest secrets. But I'd be lying if I said that there doesn't exist a certain tension deep down. At the very back of my mind is the thought that I should admit one of my secrets to them. But how am I supposed to tell them something like this, something like "Mom, Dad...I want to become a monk"? Well, monk probably isn't the best term to use. Mainly because I'm not a religious person. I have my set of beliefs, many of them spiritual in nature, but no religion. Anyway, I've started to realize that what seems to make me happiest in life is a life of strict discipline and self denial. I suppose you could say that my goal in life is to strive towards an ideal form of myself (that's humanism, right?). Except that my parents are entirely nonreligious, nor will they even discuss it. So how are they supposed to understand that my goal in life is to live a life of absolute purity in the wilderness somewhere away from civilization? Which brings me to another point. Not only is it hard to tell people what my ultimate goal in life is, it's almost impossible to attain. Yeah yeah, I know, any ultimate goal in life should be difficult to attain, but let's look at other people. Most people go through life not even wondering what their ultimate goal is. But most people do strive for certain things--a well paying job, a mate, and so on. All these things are most certainly attainable within society. But how exactly does modern society accomodate a nonreligious monk? What is there in society that will aid me in striving for my goals? And why would I even expect society to set aside a patch of wilderness just so I can live my life? Bottom line is this: I'm sick of the fact that it seems I need society to bend or do away with it altogether if I want to accomplish my ultimate goal. But back to my parents. Like I said, if I told them I doubt they'd understand. But not only that, they're also your stereotypical suburbanites, i.e. not all that willing to accept anything out of the ordinary. I mean hell, they already don't understand why I choose to be 100% honest with others or why I choose to be a vegetarian (technically I'm not a vegetarian but that's a different story). This is just something that I don't expect people like them to understand at all. Current Mood: pensive Current Music: Neil Young - After the Gold Rush (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 14th, 2006
11:39 pm	Random stuff The UC Davis Botany Club today was selling various types of plants for Valentine's Day. One particular plant that caught my interest was a succulent that looks exactly like an upright heart, hence why it was being sold on Valentine's Day. The person behind the table said that if you abuse the plant (i.e., if you starve it, etc.), then it will turn red. I have no idea what that's supposed to signify. I don't know why I've never seen this, despite the fact that I both live near a train station and have been around freight trains for quite a while, but apparently there are some boxcars that have written on their sides DO NOT HUMP. There's a macro joke to be made around here, but hell if I know what it is. Humping, btw, refers to the process of rolling boxcars up to the top of a hill with a set of parallel tracks below. Boxcars are then sorted by toggling the switch and then pushing the boxcars down the hill. Unfortunately, some boxcars don't take lightly to being rolled down hills, hence the warning. Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 5th, 2005
2:30 pm	And was it worth it? After almost 2 weeks, I finally have internet and cable in my new apartment. What this translates to is this: I skipped out on all my classes for today for the reward of watching reruns of Boy Meets World. Current Music: The Cranberries - Zombie (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 6th, 2005
7:28 pm	And things I learned Gay bathhouses are easily reached but not easily accessible (there was one right across the alley, but with the language barrier I couldn't get past the receptionist so I looked at some male magazines and left). Shark claspers are actually quite sexy (I've never seen a pair up close). I have an amazing sense of direction. One that allows me to navigate a completely unfamiliar city while I'm near-blind (see entry below). The word for "poison" in German is, oddly enough, "gift". WARNING: CONTROVERSIAL Alcohol might be the most vile, disgusting thing I've ever had in my mouth....And I once ate a slug when I was a kid. Ironically enough, I've found that I have a knack for wine tasting. Current Mood: jet-lagged Current Music: Placebo - This Picture (3 Comments |Comment on this)