Current mood:	tired
Current music:	Camel - Supertwister

It's past midnight and I'm trying to get my sleep schedule back on track after going to sleep past 2:00 for the past couple of nights and waking up past noon (I'm a morning person, so that kind of pattern makes me really disoriented). But I'm still suffering from the aftertaste of a bad pinot noir that tasted like water from overcooked artichokes (for those who don't know already, I am indeed an oenophile; look up that word if you don't know what it means).

But it comes to my attention that a lot of furs and a good chunk of the fandom is just too damn shallow for my liking. Either it's "I'm a fur. I look like an animal...and that's about it" or "I'm a fur. I look like an animal and I behave in a manner stereotypical to that animal" and I can't really decide which I dislike more. I dunno, is there not a subset of furs who want to "go deeper" into the identity of their furry selves, try to connect to their animal selves more? I mean, that's why I'm a naturist (note, I didn't say naturalist, although I am indeed a naturalist also) outdoors type. And I know what you might say to yourself: being a naturist outdoors type doesn't necessarily make me much more animalistic than it does make me a naturist outdoors human, but I do plan to continue delving even deeper as time goes on. Still though, are there no furs who see past the superficial "I look like an animal" part?

Yes, there are the otherkins. But I've found that otherkins have superficialities and pretensions all their own, from the I-hate-humans to the pseudodeep to the pagans. No, don't get in a tiff about the last one; I have nothing against actual pagans whatsoever. I just have a thing against how a good chunk of those who call themselves pagans are just people using the term as a catchall for anybody who wants to be alternative.

I've long since started calling myself on the fringe of both groups. I call myself a fringe fur because I simply happen to like anthro art and I call myself a fringe otherkin because I simply happen to have a close connection with reptiles. I couldn't stay within any group because of the flaws in each group that I simply couldn't ignore any longer. I've long since stopped trying to ask anything from either groups, but I simply can't find my place anywhere (yeah, I know, join the club--shutup).

Still though, are there really no furs out there who try to live the animal life? And by animal life, I don't mean the stupid superficial things like eating meat raw or walking digitigrade (I indeed know people who use these traits as proof of their animal-ness). I mean actual animalistic traits, whatever they may be.